The above quote came across to me when I looked for articles on self-love. It just spoke the meaning so simply, yet so powerfully and sincerely, for someone who pays attention to it adequately. The statement not only talks about the importance of self-love but brings a perspective of the interactions of others with you. It speaks how you can change the dimensions of how you have been treating yourself and thereby also get others to treat you better!
1. You were born to be REAL, not ‘perfect’
One of our main criticisms is that we are ‘not enough. We are ‘not enough’ pretty, and we are ‘not enough’ qualified, we are ‘not doing enough for our children, we are ‘not doing enough in the relationship, we are ‘not earning enough’ etc. This always generates negative thoughts internally because our perspective of looking at ourselves is ‘not enough and with unfair criteria. If your measuring criteria are faulty in the first place, you will keep getting false readings. You were never born to be a perfect human being, and no one is perfect in this world. There are some people better than you, higher standards of living, more beautiful, happier people, but that is because they focused on these aspects before you. After all, they were essential to the individual. Learn to be honest, flesh, blood, feelings, make-up, and clothes that lift you up and not pull you down.
2. Beauty begins at the moment you decide to be yourself
You are unique in your way and no other person like you. Everyone at birth was given equal opportunities, the same breathing space, the same blood compositions (in the majority of the people), the same brainpower and the exact needs of the body. We got influenced by the external world around us and others’ thoughts of who we are. Because you are who you are, when you try to be someone you are not, it is very uncomfortable, it comes across differently, and people see it. Sit in a quiet space and start writing about yourself, what you already have etc., and you will be amazed at the final list. Start by appreciating you are alive today! When you understand what you have and who you are, your values, your ethics, you become very comfortable with yourself. If you have adequate time, then go on to explore what you would like to do in the future, adjust your life etc. This exercise alone will reveal many things for you to be comfortable with who you are. Self-confidence in who you are is very sexy, and people will respond differently and more positively to you.
3. Stop trying to impress people, instead impress yourself, stretch yourself and test yourself
We are socialized to compare ourselves to others because of other people’s teachings and statements around us. During our childhood days to teenage years, these opinions of others shaped us and, without knowing it, generated deep cracks inside us. You have your journey in this life, and others have their journey. If you have been doing things to impress others, stop right there. You own your journey and no one else. Others have to go on their journey. You will never be adequate trying to compare and live according to others’ opinions and standards. Knowing you are can’t ever make everyone around you happy. Instead, set your criteria, test yourself, own your journey and focus on building yourself up. See how confident and happy you will feel this way!
4. To love yourself, know you can’t hate the experiences that shaped you
Here is another powerful saying that expresses what I wanted to say. As we grow older, we forget the phrase ‘nobody is perfect, everyone makes mistakes, and it becomes more pressure never to fail. One of the mottos in my life was ‘it is ok to make mistakes, but not the same mistake a second time. Forgive yourself for all past experiences, inadequacies, and failures you felt part of, and know that they helped shape you into who you are today. You have grown, matured as compared to before. When you are kind to yourself by forgiving yourself, you let go of the wounds deep inside you and start the healing process already.
5. Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent
If you have felt inferior, inadequate in the presence of others, you have allowed it yourself. It could be that they are outstanding in what they do, or they have been toxic enough to criticize you and failed to see the value you brought to the world. If this is the case, you need to get away from these negative people who drain you and your energy. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm. For people who don’t appreciate you, criticize you, or see the value in you, you don’t need to waste yourself by trying to prove yourself to them. Just leave them behind and move on. Don’t let them drain your positive energy and replace it with negative energy, which is of no value to you.
6. The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself
The day you understand the power of self-love, you will start to change your life for the better from adverse situations. The most significant responsibility you have is to love yourself unconditionally and accept you with all your faults because you are who that person is. And there is nobody else like you!! Realize it is your journey and cut it for yourself instead of trying to be part of someone else’s journey. When you start to love yourself, set higher standards for yourself, and lift others around you, the people who come to your life also become the same bandwidth. These will initiate lifelong, fulfilling relationships and circumstances around you. Bring your energies to a higher level, and it all starts within you.
