Trust in the English dictionary has been explained as ‘firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something. In simple terms, you know that someone is there for you to share your deepest secrets, most vulnerable factors, or when you are off-balance to check yourself to help you gain normalcy. How many of us are lucky enough to have such trust with someone or few people you can open up without having to think about the boundaries of a conversation? If you have this type of genuine connection, you indeed are a fortunate person, and chances of you going through anxiety, depression can be minimized over the life period.
Trust can be in different ways, and it can be with a partner. It can be among friends, family, colleagues, co-workers. It is an absolute necessity for a healthy, close relationship with a person. The type of trust between an emotionally intimate partner to a close friend or a co-worker varies. The time and effort you invest in with each person for a trustworthy relationship also vary based on the understanding level of the mutual parties, connection with each other, the length and operating levels of the relationship, and the relationship’s status.
For example, while you are courting a person, you will need to invest a lot more time and effort into building trust. As a new worker chosen for a professional job, you will need to invest time and effort to build trust with your boss. In relationships where trust was broken between parties and want to rebuild the relationship, the time and effort you may need to invest will be more. On the other hand, a long term known friend, whom you have been very close to, at one period in your life, where the relationship operates with no judgment and total openness, even though not kept in touch now and then, you can always be open at the same level when you meet or talk.
Let’s now look at some tips anyone can follow to build trust in the relationship, at whatever stage the relationship is in.
Express your true meaning
Some say this is, ‘say what you mean, and mean what you say.’ You remember even as a child when your teachers threatened that if you don’t complete homework, you will be sent out of class, you knew her heart was too good to do that, and she is only trying to do your work. You knew when you were trying to learn how to cycle that it was hard for you to know that the person pushing the bike will let you go in a while, hence instead of looking ahead, you tried to look backward, asking him not to let go of you. Everyone, most of the time, knows when someone else is lying. At times they will take up if they have an open relationship with you, alternatively, if your relationship is not the same level, they will keep quiet, but they would most likely know. So say what you mean and mean what you say!
Keeping your word and follow-through
When you try to keep your word, others know what you expect from them too. Of course, there are times you can’t stick to the timelines you had given due to something cropped up suddenly and in these cases, make sure you inform well in advance that you are not able to keep to your word. For example, a get-together of a few friends planned at a specific time of the week and being a doctor, and you need to finish your clinic before going there. There are days when more patients turn up, and that day was such a day, and you will run late. You can call and inform them you are getting late and understand it is part of your job.
So next time when you make a promise to someone, remember it is not only keeping the promises you make but also not making promises you’re not able to keep up!
Communicating effectively is critical in building trust
Inadequate, feeble communication is a significant reason for trust-breaking in relationships. Good communication can calmly explain your positions, what you meant and what you didn’t mean in a conversation when you have disagreeing situations.
Trust is always with a risk. When you trust someone, there is always an element that you can be let down or vice versa. When you trust your co-worker to send the monthly financials to you, it is with risk before meeting with all managers. When you have prepared dinner for your partner, you expect him to be there at the suggested time; knowing the trouble you went through to get everything prepared spotlessly, it’s a risk. Yes, you have to give that doubt to him for both of you to grow and to see if the risk taken is worth it after all!
Decisions in relationships take time to discuss adequately before agreeing
One of the greatest mistakes some people make in relationships is giving up discussions not to hurt the other party. Let the other party do what they want to avoid arguments. Especially when you have a dominant partner, this can quickly happen. When you are the more soft-spoken or sensitive partner in the relationship, this can happen. Over time these build up as anger, hatred, hurt, sadness to an irreversible level. These feelings accumulated will lead your relationship down the drain.
If you are in a partnership, take time to discuss important decisions, not once but hundred times if needed. Do not proceed with half-hearted choices, and it would cost the relationship over time. Don’t compromise. State clearly and honestly how you feel. If that falls on deaf ears, you will have to find alternative ways before moving on. Have the courage to say NO, even if it disappoints the other party!
Value the close relationships you have and never take them for granted
Some relationships are blessed with the understanding from both parties to a level that if you don’t call at the time agreed and you forgot to inform, they will still understand the nature of your job and wouldn’t take it personally. These relationships are hard to come by and require minimal time for maintenance because you have high trust levels anyway. Take some time to catch up with these relationships, and many don’t have these. Never take them for granted. Even these need to be further nurtured when a person knows that you are there always for the other one, that the trust continues in the relationship!
Knowing it takes time to build and earn trust helps when the relationship is still new
Never make the mistake of expecting too much too soon, especially when your relationship is at an early stage. To build trust, take small steps, follow-through, regularly keep in touch and keep up with the commitments you had made. Invest time and effort more at this stage of the relationship for it to grow. Be open with your emotions, don’t try to be someone else. When people know who you are true, they are more likely to trust you.
Admit your mistakes
Nobody is perfect in this world. We all make mistakes. Stay true to your heart. If you have made a mistake yourself, according to your standards, and not by other people’s standards, don’t be ashamed to admit it. If you try to paint a picture of you as ‘picture-perfect, it is hard for others to touch you and see you for who you are. To build trust and maintain trust in the relationships, it’s vital to be open, knowing the other person won’t judge you and leaving room for some vulnerability in the process. It is always easy to start relationships with who you are as is- with your authentic self!
Hoping this article gave you a snapshot about building trust in your relationships and helped you to see how best you can nurture these intimate connections with extraordinary people who have crossed your life’s pathway.
